Colin Mochrie uses improv skills for debut book, 'Not Quite the Classics'

TORONTO - The opening story in the debut book from improv master Colin Mochrie begins with the opening lines of Arthur Conan Doyle's "A Study in Scarlet," describing Sherlock Holmes seated at a breakfast table.

What follows is far from elementary, as the famed fictional detective dresses in drag and racks his brain — not in order to solve a crime, but to figure out how to do standup comedy.

In his newly published collection of short stories, "Not Quite the Classics" (Viking Canada), Mochrie takes the first and last lines from 12 famous novels and re-imagines the middle.

The approach stems from the improv game First Line, Last Line, in which the skit's beginning and ending are supplied by the audience and the performers invent the rest.

"When I was first asked by my agent to write a book — apparently he does not like me having free time — because I have no experience at writing, I thought I would use my improv experience to help me guide my way through this," Mochrie said in a recent interview.

Using the first and last lines, "I figured ... two per cent of the book is written, so I'm set," he added with a laugh.

The Toronto-based "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" star said he was a shy child who read a lot, but he never wanted to write a book until his agent suggested it.

He was convinced to take on the project by actress Debra McGrath, his wife who "does a lot of writing," is "incredibly disciplined" and "incredibly supportive."

"Actually, I think I'm writing this book because of her, because she's a very positive person. I am less so, much less so," said the typically self-deprecating Scottish native, who was recently named Canadian comedy person of the year at the Canadian Comedy Awards.

"But she has this thing, and she's actually talked me into doing it: There's a thing in improv called 'Yes, And,' where you accept people's ideas and then you build on that, so it's always positive. We've kind of talked about, in the last couple of years, saying 'yes' to things that we ordinarily would say 'no' to.

"I've found it leads you to these adventures you never would've taken the chance on, and writing a book was something I never thought about, so I thought, 'Well, I'll use Deb's 'Yes, And' thing and see where it takes me."

The TV actor said he chose the stories according to whether they had first and last lines that inspired him and yet were vague enough.

The first one he tackled was Dr. Seuss's "The Cat in the Hat," which he turned into a poem about a zombie invasion.

"It was the first book I read as a child, it was the first book I read to my son, so I know it really well, and it rhymes and it's easy," said Mochrie, who performs with his longtime improv partner Brad Sherwood at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Toronto on Oct. 30.

"So I thought that would be a nice way to ease into it, and it was actually fairly easy to write and pain-free. I thought, 'Oh, this is what the rest of the book is going to be like.'

"I was wrong. Totally wrong. Absolutely, completely, 100 per cent wrong."

Despite the challenges he faced, Mochrie managed to inject the stories with the same charm, humour and zany scenarios he's brought to his improv performances.

In a tale inspired by George Orwell's "1984," for instance, conjoined twins named Big Brother and Little Brother try to get a magic-shop owner to overthrow a tyrant king who's opposed to funding the arts.

Then there's the one inspired by Herman Melville's "Moby Dick," in which a balding actor abuses the powers of a magical toupee to advance his career.

Mochrie, who's been the butt of bald jokes himself, said that's one of the most personal stories. (For the record: He's never worn a toupee.)

"Bald jokes don't bother me at this point, it's been my bread and butter, but I always wonder: How come someone can come up and just do a bald joke at me and I can't mention that they're obese or missing an eye or something? I can't, I just can't."

The story that was perhaps the most demanding, at least physically, was the one inspired by Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse-Five."

Without spoiling the tale, the premise involves "the unluckiest man in history" and a colon exam that goes awry.

Mochrie said he had to act out the story with a doll "to figure out the physics of it, which wasn't pretty."

"When you read the story, you'll understand why, but that one was difficult."

Surprisingly, Mochrie said he hasn't read all the novels he covers in his book: "I've seen all the movies, so that makes it easier."

The experience has him wanting to write more, though — just not any time soon.

"I was saying to someone, it's sort of like childbirth: You have to kind of wait and then forget about the pain you went through and then, 'Oh yeah, I want to write another book,'" said Mochrie.

"So I'm hoping there's another book in me. ... I think I'd like to try an actual novel, which again scares me.

"But 'Yes, And.' So we'll see."